Panic attacks and more!

It hath been often said, that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible.

So, you’re probably wondering why my very first blog is turninging out to be so morbid..

ahh, where do I begin? Monday the 13th of August 2012, also being referred to as the “Dooms Day”, is just a day away. It is the Day of Reckoning, the Day of Both Extremes, the Day of the Dead, the Day of Truth, the Day of Regrets, the Day of Triumph, the Day of Failure, and also as my friend Sarin said, it is “the Day the Earth stands still”. Quite simply, it happens to be the day when the CIE results for this year’s May/June session come out – eeeep!

The funny thing is, it COULD be the best day of your life(if you get those clichéd Straight As/A*s) or it COULD be the worst day. Basically, in the days leading up to the result, we’re all hanging by a thread. No one is really sure of just how well they did in the exams. We become victims of panic attacks, insomnia, depression, anxiety and much much more!

I keep raking my brain, trying to remember how my exams went but this feat proves to be so tortuous that I’m left quivering and shaking uncontrollably. Quite frankly, deep in our hearts, we all have an inkling of what awaits us on the notorious day. Those of us who actually did study relentlessly(the way we ALL should have!), have the comfort of knowing that they did their very best while knowing that the hand that fate deals is not always fair. Those of us who did not study relentlessly out of laziness, or some other unexplained reason, frankly we know we’re screwed.

I have been(as many others have been) engulfed in a feeling of nothing but dread, hopelessness and regrets. My sleep has been snatched away and about a trillion regrets are flitting across my mind; If only I had studied everything thoroughly, if only I hadn’t gone to that party, if only I had not slept all day long, if only I had done every past paper.. – well, you get the drift.

Coming from a family of over-achievers has multiplied this state of impending doom. The pressure from the family, friends and all those relatives who ironically remember us on the-day-that-must-not-be-named is hellish indeed.

I remember how in the Oct/Nov session, after my Pakistan Studies exam, my Mom came to pick me. My exam had NOT gone well.

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Mom: Soo, how’d it go?

Me: ummm..okay.

Mom: just okay??!!!?

Me(backtracking): oh, I mean, it went good…

Mom: just good? you mean it’ll be just an A, not an A*????????

*facepalm*

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Need I say more? 😛

Anyway, all the very best to everyone out there, let’s keep praying and hoping for the best! *fingers crossed*

Cheers!